How to Stop Drinking for Stress Relief: What Your Body Actually Needs Instead

If you’ve ever found yourself pouring a glass of wine before your brain even catches up to the fact that you’re stressed, you’re not alone — and you’re definitely not broken.

Stress is the number one reason many women drink. It was for me too. But what I’ve learned (and what the science backs up) is that alcohol is a fake-out relief. It promises calm, but delivers chaos — especially for women in midlife whose hormones are already doing gymnastics.

This post breaks down why we crave alcohol when we’re stressed, what’s really going on in your brain and body, and what to do instead that actually calms your system.

🚨 Why We Reach for Alcohol When We're Stressed

We’ve been conditioned to believe alcohol helps us unwind. But what’s really happening?

• Stress triggers your sympathetic nervous system (SNS) — aka fight or flight

• Your brain signals your liver to dump glucose into your bloodstream

• Digestion halts, inflammation increases, and cortisol (your stress hormone) spikes

And alcohol?

It numbs. It sedates your prefrontal cortex (the decision-making part of your brain), giving you the illusion of relief. But under the hood, alcohol:

• Spikes dopamine temporarily (a feel-good neurotransmitter)

• Followed by dynorphin (a downer chemical that makes you feel worse)

• Triggers a rebound spike in cortisol and adrenaline

So you’re left MORE stressed, MORE inflamed, and MORE emotionally volatile than before.

Even moderate alcohol use raises your baseline cortisol, according to Dr. Andrew Huberman.

⚖️ The Hormone Wild Ride of Perimenopause

Here’s where it gets trickier: perimenopause. If you’re 35+, this likely applies to you.

• Estrogen, your natural stress buffer, becomes erratic

• Progesterone, your calming, sleep-promoting hormone, is in steady decline

This means you’re literally more sensitive to stress. Things you used to handle? Now they feel overwhelming — not because you’re “less chill,” but because your hormones have shifted.

Layering alcohol on top of this hormonal volatility is like tossing gasoline on a stress fire.

💥 What Stress Does to Your Gut

Let’s talk about your second brain: your gut.

The gut-brain axis is the two-way communication system between your digestion and your mood. When stress hits:

• Cortisol reduces stomach acid

• Digestion slows

• Gut permeability increases (hello, leaky gut)

• Microbiome diversity declines

This can cause bloating, cramping, constipation, diarrhea, and mood swings — think back to a high stress time you've had, and you might see a correlation, I know I did!

And guess what alcohol does? The exact same damage — it inflames the gut, disrupts your microbiome, and sends more distress signals back to your brain.

🔁 The Real Reason You’re Craving a Drink

You’re not weak — you’re seeking regulation.

Alcohol mimics relief, but your body is still on high alert. What you actually need is to activate your parasympathetic nervous system — your rest, digest, and heal mode.

So let’s talk about what works instead.

✅ 4 Proven Strategies to Lower Stress Without Alcohol

1. Movement

• Burns off excess blood sugar released during stress

• Increases dopamine and endorphins

• Lowers cortisol

• Even a 10-minute walk works!

2. The Physiological Sigh

• Inhale deeply, then take a second short inhale

• Long exhale through the mouth

• Do this 2–3 times to switch your nervous system from “fight or flight” to “rest and digest”

3. Nutrition that Calms Your Body

Build meals with these key players:

• Protein + Fiber + Healthy Fats: stabilize blood sugar, reduce cravings

• Antioxidants: reduce inflammation (berries, greens, herbs)

• Omega-3s: support brain + mood (salmon, walnuts, flax)

• Fermented Foods: support your microbiome (sauerkraut, yogurt, beet kvass)

4. Create Connection Rituals Without Alcohol

Replace your end-of-day wine habit with something else your brain sees as a reward:

• Fancy mocktail in a beautiful glass

• Walk + phone call with a friend

• Magnesium lotion post-shower

• Anything that hits multiple senses and offers closure

🎯 Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need Willpower. You Need New Wiring.

What finally shifted things for me was realizing that alcohol wasn’t calming me down—it was keeping me stuck in a loop of reactivity and hormone disruption.

And once I started supporting my system instead of sedating it? Everything changed:

• I slept better

• My anxiety eased

• I felt emotionally steadier

• My confidence grew

If alcohol is taking more than it’s giving, this is your sign. You don’t need more willpower — you need better tools, better wiring, and real support.

💌 Want to Go Deeper?

DM me “10” on Instagram [@findmyselffree] and I’ll send you my free guide:10 Minutes to Inspire & Rewire Your Break from BoozePerfect if you’re sober curious, stressed, and ready to feel better — for real.