Why Changing How You Feel About Alcohol Is the Real Secret to Quitting

We’ve all been there.

You commit to taking a break from drinking. You’ve got the quit-lit on your nightstand. You sign up for a 30-day reset. You even feel motivated this time. But a few days (or hours) in… you cave. And suddenly, you’re stuck in the same cycle, again.

It’s not because you’re weak.

It’s because the strategies you’ve been using haven’t accounted for your biology — or the subconscious programming that’s been running the show for years.

I’m Elly Young, certified alcohol-free life coach and functional nutrition practitioner in training. And today, I want to take you behind the scenes of the coaching method from This Naked Mind, that changed everything for me — and is now helping women just like you rewire their brains and reclaim their bodies, one belief at a time.

Let’s dive in.

The “Affective Liminal Psychology” Framework: Rewiring Your Relationship with Alcohol

This approach might sound like a psychology textbook, but stick with me — it’s simpler (and more powerful) than it sounds.

Affective

This is the emotional charge behind your drinking. The truth is, we don’t do anything unless WE FEEL LIKE IT which cues the behavior" These feelings stem from a thought-"I need a glass of wine to relax." "This is how I connect with people." "This is how I survive my kids’ bedtime routine without screaming into a pillow."

All of those thoughts are emotionally charged. But just because you feel something doesn’t mean it’s true. And that’s where the next layer comes in.

Liminal

This is the space between your subconscious and your conscious mind — the “in-between” where change actually happens. The thoughts you don’t even realize you’re having? They live here. And unless we investigate them, they’ll keep driving your feelings and your behavior on autopilot.

Psychology

This is where we reprogram those hidden beliefs. We interrupt the drinking loop by shifting your thoughts and feelings before they trigger the behavior.

But how?

Enter: The Liminal Path — A Map for Real Change

My job as a coach is to take you through this process in four steps:

1. Perspective

The story you’re telling yourself. Your worldview. Your conditioning. This includes your upbringing, your experiences with alcohol, your social influences, and your personal narrative. As your coach, I help you unpack this so we can understand what’s really driving your drinking — and what version of you has been running the show.

2. Awareness

This is where the magic starts. We step back far enough to see your patterns clearly. Maybe you drink because you think alcohol helps you relax. Maybe you believe people won’t invite you out if you’re not drinking. But these aren’t facts — they’re beliefs that were conditioned into us. And once you become aware of them, you can change them.

3. Transformation

This is the clunky part. The work. The “I don’t even know who I am without wine” phase. In this phase, we use a tool I've adapted from my training with This Naked Mind, that I called the AIRE Method:

• Awareness of the belief driving the craving

• Investigate how the belief affects your behavior

• Replace it with a belief rooted in science, self-trust, and truth

• Evaluate how this new belief makes you feel — and try it out

4. Healing

This is when things click.You’re not relying on willpower anymore. You’ve rewired the belief. You’re learning to live alcohol-free and like it. You’re not just sober. You’re regulated. You’re free.

But Wait — Easier Said Than Done.

These beliefs take time to break down, that's where the systems of self come in.

Here’s where things get layered. Because you can’t just change a belief by me telling you to. We have to explore your perspective, your energy, and your environment.

So in my coaching, we also look at these foundational systems:

1. Inputs

What are you consuming — mentally, emotionally, physically? This includes:

• The content you scroll through at night

• The conversations you're having

• The environments you’re putting yourself in

• The food, alcohol, supplements, or meds you're taking

Your current inputs are getting you your current results. So we clean them up. Intentionally.

2. Energy Source

Are you trying to change because you hate yourself and you're fueled by guilt and shame? Or because you believe in a better version of you? That energy matters. We shift from hustle + shame-based change to a grounded, self-compassionate kind. One rooted in values, and a belief that a healthier version of you is possible.

3. Feedback Loops

Do your habits reinforce your progress — or sabotage it?

Example: You don't drink on Friday. You wake up Saturday full of energy. You feel amazing. That’s a positive feedback loop. Or...you don’t drink, but spend the night doom-scrolling, lonely, telling yourself “this sucks.” That’s a loop trying to keep you stuck, and we need to break.

4. Environment

You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick. You don't need to Marie Kondo your entire life, but we do create new rituals, rhythms, and routines that cue your nervous system toward calm — not chaos.

5. Leverage Points

Sometimes, all it takes is one belief shift to unlock your entire path forward. Like the client who realized her mom gave her alcohol at age 16 after a breakup… and suddenly saw her entire coping pattern with new eyes. These are the moments that change everything.

This Work Is Powerful — And It’s Not Just About Alcohol

Yes, we’re talking about breaking up with booze. But what we’re really doing is rewriting your story, regulating your nervous system, and returning you to yourself.

You don’t need more willpower. You need a roadmap that honors your biology. A process that rewires your brain.And a coach who gets it — because she lived it.

Ready to Start Your Break (Without Breaking Down)?

👉 Download my free guide: Breaking Up With Booze — the exact lessons that helped me go from daily gray area drinking to 4+ years alcohol-free and thriving.

Or if you want to go deeper, explore my science-backed, hormone-first course:💻 Stop Drinking with Cycle Syncing — $50 off with code GIVEME50 (limited time).

Sobriety is just the beginning. Let’s heal, thrive, and create a life you actually want to wake up to.

You got this. I’m with you.